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Can someone give me suggestions on my research paper?

Thesis is: Debussy's experimentation and unconventional ways have revolutionized the art of music, influecning many later composers and sparking new forms of music such as jazz

Public Comments

1. I like it. However (perhaps due to lack of paragraph breaks), I can't tell what your thesis statement is.
2. In the first place, your paper at present is all one paragraph! Yes, as the first answerer said, identify your thesis and state it clearly--and end the first paragraph there. (If the word "jazz" ends the first paragraph, it's still too long--you have an introduction almost as long as the whole body.) The beginning is beautifully written, and it would be a shame to take out any of its evocative images. However, to help you get to the point sooner, you COULD save some of those details for a body paragraph or the conclusion. Suppose you break at "daydream and reality" and add a more concrete thesis at that point. Then you can go into the two schools of composition that Debussy participated in and influenced. You might also mention his debt to the Romantic movement. Now for the mechanics and such: 1. Not "songs based off of," but songs drawn from" or "songs based on." 2. Something seems to have been left out of this sentence: According to One of Debussy’s teachers told him “I am not saying that what you do isn’t beautiful, but it’s theoretically absurd” (Kamien 440) 3. The past tense of "cast' is "cast"--not "casted." 4. "Debussy’s music can be understood through two important aspects of his music"--a bit repetitious? Why not "of it"? 5. "the main style of which Debussy was attributed to"--On generally attributes a quailty or characteristic or innovation to a person, or credits him for it. So reword this. 6. "Paris was at the hubbub of the revolution" I think you just mean at the hub. (Look both these words up.) 7. "different unlike ever seen before" Insert a comma before "unlike" and the word "anything" after it. 8. "viewed the paintings by the French Impressionists threatening to the “perfect” conventional form of art" Either change "viewed" to "considered" or insert "as" before "threatening." 9. Start a new paragraph with this sentence: "Debussy is generally viewed as an Impressionist, but many art historians claim that Debussy was also a Symbolist . . . . " 10. "Just like he composed music based off " Just AS he composed music based ON (This occurs again a sentence or two later.) 11. "enriched" Why past tense? 12. " Regardless of whether Debussy is seen as an Impressionist, Symbolist" Insert "a" before "Symbolist." 13.."remembered as the pioneer altered the course" "The pioneer WHO . . . ." 14. "A variety of events in Debussy’s life . . . " Start a new paragraph here. Sorry, but I'm getting tired! In the remainder of the paper, look for logical places to begin new paragraphs. And don't say "unique to"--it's "unique among."